Brain Dump 1

by Mike Meilleur - January 9th, 2026

what's going on guys mike here. i'm gonna be doing a brain dump because my brain feels like it's tangled in so many knots.

i'm sitting at my dining room table next to the window. i can see my driveway, my girlfriend's car, and uhhhh some dead ass bushes.

there's some onions and bananas on the table. that's chill asf

i've been trying to learn how to write a jazz tune. i have one i'm working on called ruby scooby, about cora's dog. i luv her. she's literally a human trapped in a dog's body and it's adorable and terrifying and hilarious.

but like i'm so scared of getting judged for the end product that it's difficult to even come up with anything to begin with!!! UGH

i need to remember that i have to make it exist first, and then make it good. bruh. that's hard asf though

like idk why i can't bring myself to work towards my success. part of me still thinks i'll never amount to anything. i still feel kinda broken. maybe i should try adhd meds again? shit where was i

i'm kinda dizzy right now but what i do know is that i wanna make a bunch of demo scores and host a sight reading session to have people come try to read my shit!!! and they can give me pointers on how to write for their instruments better!!!!

this is actually such an exciting idea and i can make a poster and everything fuck i have so many ideas.

so i wanna write uhhh 4 or 5 pieces for jazz Ntet, i wanna make a poster for it, and i need to find somewhere to host it.

but i also want to practice for my audition to the NAO, and I also have to find a way to commute from cambridge to hamilton almost daily.

the deadline for the NAO is feb 17, so I have about 5 weeks to practice for that.

figuring out how much time i need in order to write 5 jazz tunes is difficult to determine, as i've never written a full jazz tune for rhythm section and horns before, let alone 4 or 5.

so since i have a solid deadline for the NAO audition, I should put that as my top priority right now, and my jazz tunes can be a secondary project. I can figure out a deadline/event once I've completed a couple drafts.

damn my brain feels so much lighter and less tangled now this felt so good to get out of my head and onto my puter.

xoxo Mike